I'm just going to do these whenever I feel like it!
12:45 PM: Wake up. Eat at plate of spaghetti. Get out of bed.
1:00PM: Take shower
1:20PM: End shower with ritual masturbation.
1:45PM: Breakfast. Something light, like a grilled cheese sandwich or a sleeve of Oreo's. Get dressed and then check if baseball bets paid off. Cry. Make sure you aren't bankrupted.
2:15PM: Head my way over to campus. My Introduction to Slowly Accepting Mental Retardation doesn't start until later, so I head over to nearby Starbucks to smoke cigarettes and look cool in front of minors.
2:35PM: Swing shift at SB's is pretty slim. Only uggos with chicken legs. I would try to make them feel sorry about themselves, but I'm still recovering from 4 bong hits I took in the parking lot.
3:00PM: Then attack: go to class, take notes, get distracted, wander off mentally, come back for a few seconds, Hey look at that, I wonder if anyone else notices? Am I real? Where's my pen? I start breathing heavily, and some other stoner from across the room sees me. He's drawing a cartoon pipe on his syllabus.
Marijuana... the one thing holding me down. That, and the baseball gambling.
And thats the prime, perbong, reclover, of my Weed Fit Day.
Thank you very much. Tell your friends! Also, a show.
Michael Kaye
Michael Kaye watches commercials... nearly all of them. Not only can he sit through these 30-second "films" that try to convince you to buy shit you don't need, he can analyze them. He can pick apart a national ad and make sure it runs out of the room crying. But most of all he tries to evaluate their values (which are nearly, always vacant).
